Photographs

One thing I will tell you about myself is I'm a photographer. I love the human body. I would put up pictures of people's faces if I wasn't afraid it could get traced back to me. Sometimes I feel as if I'm a spy on a top secret mission. I am in a way. The mission is to get stuff off my chest. To tell my deepest secrets and not have to worry about people judging me because they know who I am!

The point of this was to post some photographes I took today. Feed back is greatly appreciated!

By the way, I haven't spoken to Eli since Sunday. We usually see each other daily but not even a simple text message just to see how I am doing. Should I make contact first?

Theres this ache in the pit of my stomach nothing seems to make flee, it only grows stronger the more time goes by without communication.

Identity Unknown

Hello All,

This blog is created for the sake of my luck. If I was to expose who I really was my luck would land me in a heap of trouble. I'm not really going to put anyone down or curse someones name but I am however going to tell you my most dearest secrets. I will tell you about my fears, my loves, my dreams, my faults, and my thoughts. I will tell you stuff I tell no one.

For you see, I am a dreamer. I am the person that nobody ever really thinks about. I am the person that has a passion burning inside of her that no one ever saw before. I am the girl that never says what she is feeling or thinking. But that My friends ends today.

One thing you should know about me is my name is not Lola Lane. I chose to use this name only because it was my grandmothers middle name before she was wed.
I will never reveal my true name for the fear that with my luck someone will notice it and put the pieces together, leaving me with a lot of explaining to do.

Another thing you should know is I have lived behind a mask for many many years. I never really reveal my true longings for the mere fact that getting to close to people is a dangerous game that we humans play. Being betrayed has happened once in my life and I will never let that happen again.

To start of I have been wanting to get something off my chest for a long time but have never told a soul. The Lord knows it but only because he does well with keeping my secrets.
I'm in love with my best friend.

I'm in love with my best friend.

And he has no idea. You can see the position it puts me in. I fear and have a good idea that he doesn't feel the same way. Considering he does tell me about all of the love interests in his life. We shall give my best friend the name of Eli. Eli hardly ever fancies a girl. So when he does, its serious. He once made me walk with him past her house just to see if she was home and not answering his calls. She was home by the way. The look of disappointment on Eli's face was heart breaking. What can you say to a guy who had his heart ripped out at that moment? Besides bash her and say "You deserve better."
I just a few months ago realized I was in complete, head over heals, in love with Eli. We were driving in my car and as we were singing along to a song we sing often, it hit me. Hard. All of the sudden I felt like I was going to blow chunks! It was mortifying! I ended up dropping him off at his car early so I could go home and be beside myself for awhile. I had to think things in my head through.
But now every time Eli tells me of the girl that he adores, I can only smile and wish him luck. I always know the girls he is talking about and every single one of them couldn't be worse for him. On the outside I'll listen and act like I'm interested but on the inside I'm cold. Its as if someone decided they would stick a fork in my hearts and twirl it around. I feel a huge lump develop in my throat and choke back tears. I end up changing the subject before hes finished going into every detail about how perfect she is. The worst part is he once made that comment that he doesn't like just any girl. Leaving me to agree and hold back a sorrow, that was great in weight, until I was alone and in the comfort of my bed.